If you’re reading this, I am proud of you.
The statement “I’m proud of you” has become one of my favorite things to hear. Not because of the sense of validation or affirmation, but because I am at a point where I can truly and fully believe it.
Growing up, my parents encouraged me to do the best that I could in school. If a C was the best I could do, then they were happy. I never felt pressured to have to get all A’s, but I still tried my hardest and was content with my academics.
The first semester of sophomore year was when my mindset shifted.
There was an unspoken pressure that haunted me, as I felt myself trying so hard in my classes, but the results weren’t good enough. The grades I was getting began to define my self-worth, tearing down all of the confidence I had built up. The constant anxiety that I felt created so much pressure on myself to do better and be better, forcing me to isolate myself from the world trying to perfect a system. I gave myself no time to explore life as a college student. I felt like a disappointment to my parents, friends, and ultimately myself. Loneliness consumed me - but why? I had everything I could ever need - a supportive family, loving friends, the opportunity to attend my dream school - and I was letting the experience slip by, all because I was afraid.
One day, I decided enough was enough of the monotonous schedule I was living and that a change was desperately needed.
I built up the courage to admit that I needed help and began going to counseling once a week. It was a lot of fighting my demons initially, but as cliché as it sounds, the light at the end of the tunnel was finally visible. After attending for a few months, I started to feel like my old self again. I took from my experiences and spoke out about my struggles, where I was met with so much support, and to my surprise, so many others telling me they understood what I was going through. So many were genuinely proud of me for overcoming my struggles. It was time that I finally did the same for myself, and it’s genuinely been one of the most rewarding feelings I’ve experienced.
The movies always show us that college is the time of our lives, but it’s a time for growth and change for most of us. The system builds us to one day be a more significant part of society, contributing through our work fields or the interactions we share each day. But, it is okay for us not to be ready, for us to grasp onto those last few moments of innocence.
I urge those of you reading to find something in yourself that you are proud of. Whether you made an A on that test you studied so hard for or just because you got out of bed this morning, I want you to make this an everyday habit.
You are more loved and appreciated than you know, and even if you can’t accept it for yourself yet, I am proud of you.
Hannah B., Clemson University ‘23
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