During 4Boston’s 2022 Fall Retreat, 4Boston members participated in a letter-writing workshop in which they wrote open letters to the Boston College community. Bellow is a collection of their work and the messages they have to share with you.
Please note: A few of these letters discuss their experiences with suicidal ideations. If you believe you may find this triggering, we encourage you to read one of the other letters on IfYoureReadingThis.org, or to prepare to access any support systems or resources you may find helpful if you do become triggered by reading the submissions below.
If you’re reading this, you are enough.
I can’t tell you the number of times I have felt like I’m not enough: not smart enough, not pretty enough, not worthy enough. When I started having suicidal ideations, I felt like I didn’t deserve to get help because I wasn’t worthy. It took a full breakdown for my family to notice I wasn’t ok and advise me to seek help. After years of therapy and medication, I will tell you this: by getting help and trusting someone enough to tell them what I was going through, I am starting to have many moments where I do feel enough. Even if it is just the breeze through my hair to remind me that I am here, that my presence is tangible; these little things remind me I am enough. If you’re reading this, life with mental illness is hard. If you’re reading this, I can promise you that despite the challenges, life with mental illness is worth living. If you’re reading this, I am proud of you and all that you have overcome. If you’re reading this, remember you are someone deserving of all the best things in life. If you’re reading this, you are enough.
If you’re reading this, remember it will get better.
Being here is so different. It’s okay if you feel alone. I often feel alone. Like no one sees me or understands how I feel. When things get hard, it’s hard to remember that these feelings are temporary. The background noise can feel so loud. Life can be overwhelming. The future can be scary. Change is hard. During these times when I start to spiral, I have to reach out. Call my mom. Facetime my friends from home. Facetime my little cousins or kids I babysit. I have to get out. Go for a walk off campus. Find an empty classroom to take a deep breath. For me, visiting home and being able to take that deep breath in saved me. It reminded me why life is worth living. I live far away, so I can’t go home all of the time, but knowing what’s waiting for me gives me the hope I need to keep going.
If you’re reading this, be forgiving of yourself. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do something you’re not comfortable doing. It’s good to take time for yourself. Trust your gut. Remember your people are out there, you just might not have found them yet.
My favorite advice I’ve ever received is to take the risk or lose the chance. Put yourself out there. Try new things. Some things will stick, while others won’t. You’ll never know until you try.
If you’re reading this, keep going. If you’re reading this, you’re not alone.
If you're reading this, know that you're not alone and are loved by so many.
Everything will work out in the end and although things may seem tough, you will be okay. Life is constantly filled with ups and downs. Talking about it is so difficult. However, you are brave and strong. You can reach out to others and so many people care about you. You’re surrounded by help and resources. This feeling doesn’t last forever. You’re able to overcome it. There’s so much about life to love, and you’ll be able to see it. If you’re reading this, you’re so loved.
If you’re reading this, you are not defined by your feelings.
I went through a suffocatingly negative period of hating myself, hating my life, and convincing myself that terrifying thoughts were who I was. But I know now that that is not the truth. Thoughts and feelings are temporary, even if they seem eternal. I got to a low enough point that I questioned whether I wanted to be anything at all. But I decided not to give up on myself. I wanted to prove to myself that I could keep on keeping on. I took an important step and sought medical assistance. It was very hard to admit that I needed something external to keep me from spiraling but I am so grateful that I decided to seek help. I was able to see that there is a you that is not just your thoughts. You are so much more.
Members of 4Boston
4Boston is BC's largest weekly service organization. Volunteers serve four hours each week of the academic year with community partners in the social service, healthcare, or education sectors and engage in one hour of group reflection centered on community, social justice, and spirituality. 4Boston is proud to support the efforts of IfYoureReadingThis to bring attention to vital mental health issues in our community.
You can visit 4Boston on the first and second floors of McElroy Commons, on Boston College’s Chestnut Hill campus. Their Main Office is located in McElroy 122, next to the Eagles Nest on McElroy’s second floor.
To learn more about 4Boston, including their retreat programs, visit their website, or read their Weekly Bulletin.
