If you’re reading this, you’re not alone.
If you’re reading this, you’re doing the best you can.
If you’re reading this, chances are the harshest critic in your life is you.
For anyone that has clicked on this link and is reading my words right now, I hope I can shed some light on mental health issues I’ve observed in those around me and my own personal struggles. You may be sick of hearing this, but you’re not alone!
Most mental illnesses begin to show themselves after adolescence, before full-fledged adulthood kicks in. This seems like a really unfortunate statistic when you consider all the social expectations, pressures, and stress levels that young adults face today, especially on college campuses. While I’ve spent my last four years of college wishing I could magically remove any pain from the lives of those I care about, that’s 1) unreasonable, because while you can help and support those around you with mental illnesses, there’s nothing you can say or do to fix it and 2) unhealthy when I let it get to the point of me ignoring my own needs. Statistics may say that around 40% of college students struggle with at least one mental illness; I’ve seen it, and I know you have too. It’s not always the stereotypes, like the girl with the perfect dorm room and color-coordinated planner for all her extracurriculars and undiagnosed rampant anxiety, or the girl sticking her fingers down her throat after dinner because she’s worried about looking fat at the football game next week. Sometimes it’s the people you least expect. That’s why you should keep checking in on your friends, even if they seem fine!
I haven’t been that perfect either. While I spend my time worrying about the people I love, it’s been just as easy for them to watch me take on too big of a workload and beat myself up if I can’t do it. Or tell myself I’m the least intelligent person in my family because I don’t have good enough grades. Or chastise myself if I think I’m not making the most ethical decisions in my daily life that I can. Or panic any time my weight goes up, because, in some ways, I’m a young adult who’s still hanging onto the mindset of a scared 14-year-old striving for perfection. You get the gist. If someone reading this can relate to feeling like you’re never doing enough, the truth is what you’re able to do right now is your best, and that’s all you need to do.
If I have any advice for you, it would be to realize the areas of your life that are bringing you unhappiness and set healthy boundaries for yourself. Second, we are not creatures designed to work 24/7—make time for yourself and do things you enjoy! You’re only living your life for you, and it’s so easy for us to waste it chasing the wrong things that we only think will make us happy. Whatever mental health struggles you face, your community of support is much larger than you realize and there are others out there that will hear you, validate you, and love you for who you are. This too shall pass!
Alexa B., Washington State University ‘21
