If you are reading this, I want you to know that asking for help is a sign of strength. I’ve had to both take the risk to ask for help when I’ve needed it and been on the trusted end of students who have shared their struggles with me.
I am the Dean of Students at Northwestern University and have met with hundreds of students over my career who have struggled with depression and anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, isolation, fear of failure, insomnia, and all the other symptoms college students commonly face. College can be amazing, and college is hard. I’m always amazed by student perseverance.
When I was a new mother to twin daughters, I developed postpartum depression and panic disorder. It was terrifying--I had to take care of these two little humans but could barely get out of bed. I was surprised how much it hurt—not just mentally but also physically. I had worked with students for years who experienced depression and anxiety but until I also experienced the symptoms, I didn’t understand how paralyzing they are. Through support from my family (yes even in my 30s it was hard to tell my parents and ask for help!), therapy and medication I slowly started to recover. Eighteen years later I’m still cognizant of the ways in which I have to take care of myself to avoid a recurrence of symptoms.
For me, close and trusting relationships have always been key to my wellbeing so I prioritize and tend to them. I eat well, I walk my dog Pete whenever the sun is out, I make sure I get sleep. I seek out therapy when I need it. Most importantly I give myself grace when I make mistakes and always strive for progress and not perfection.
I know our students do not all have the same access to care and support. Identity always matters—especially when we are talking about well-being. Families are also complicated and for some can be sources of support and for others, source of stress. The answers are not often easy and are unique for each person.
Whatever the circumstance, I want students to know that asking for help is always a sign of strength. If you are reading this, don’t give up on yourself and don’t struggle alone. If you are reading this, know that our staff and faculty and your peers care about your mental health. If you are reading this, remember there are many ways to get support at NU if you extend your hand and ask for help. #NUhelp #EightDimensionsofWellness #progressnotperfection
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