If you’re reading this, everything will be okay.
The thing about life that’s the most daunting, the scariest, is that to fully live it, you must accept the uncertainty that comes with each moment of every hour of every day. There’s no textbook, Google search result, or a single piece of data that can prepare you for trials and challenges that catch you when you least expect it. And in those moments of adversity, it can feel like the world is crumbling around you, and all you need is a second to catch your breath and gather yourself. But even then, the world continues to spin even if yours has come to a halt. Truly, I thought my little world was invincible, until last year when life threw me a trial of my own.
In February of 2021, my mother passed away after a long, long battle with cancer that took an accelerated turn in the winter of that year. I was seated beside her when she breathed her last breaths, in the living room of the same house she’d helped me take my first steps in. Just moments before then, I was on FaceTime with my campaign team, celebrating my advancement into the runoff for student body president that year. So, I’m sure you can imagine the severity of the emotional whiplash one gets from feeling yourself inch closer to the fulfillment of a lifelong goal, only to be brought right down to the lowest emotional point of your life thus far.
In the three weeks that ensued, I put together a memorial service for my mother along with the help of friends and family and ended up losing the SBP election by a pretty slim margin. So now with nothing ahead of me but time, a heart full of emotion, and a cacophony of voices in my head, I wondered how I even begin to heal. At the ripe age of 21, to say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. I knew the journey ahead of me to get back to some sense of balance was going to be a long one. But it was on that long road to healing that I learned some of the best lessons for how to find yourself again and I’d like to share them with you- if you don’t mind.
First, feel everything. The giggly laughs and smiles from reminiscing. The ugly, slide-down-the-wall crying sessions from grieving. Feel all of it. Don’t suppress anything, and let your body move through the ebb and flow of emotion. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to smile, and it’s okay to not know how to feel. What matters is that you let go of all of the visceral emotion that bottles up inside when tough things happen. Rainbows need a little rain to come down first.
Second, you’re never alone. In the months that followed my mother’s passing, I strengthened relationships with friends and family, and those very relationships carried me through to a place of peace. I didn’t go a day without a family member calling or a friend coming over. It can feel otherwise at times, but your people are truly there for you when you need them, so lean on them.
Third, in the absence of one thing, there’s always the presence of something else. After losing the election and losing my mother, I felt a gaping hole and was grasping at air trying to understand what was there now. But I was able to turn that loss into love. I poured the love into my family, friends, and myself. I turned that time I now had into a beautiful avenue of reflection and growth which I now get to share via my podcast. When one door closes, another one opens. Everything happens for a reason, and it may not be clear in the moment, but that clarity is due to come.
And finally, everything will be okay. It’s true, everything will be okay. Life doesn’t discriminate when it comes to dealing out struggles and setbacks. But all that pain you may feel isn’t permanent. You’ll have scars, but don’t see them as signals of the dark times. Let them be reminders that you overcame. Let them be reminders of your strength, your resilience. Let them remind you that everything will be okay.
In the words of my muse, Ariana Grande, “If you’re someone out there who has no idea what this next chapter is going to bring, you’re not alone in that…and I’m really looking forward to embracing whatever happens and whatever comes my way.”
No matter what life throws your way, believe that you have the resilience and perseverance to overcome it because, in the end, everything will be okay.
-Aidan B, University of South Carolina Class of ‘22
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