If you’re reading this, you don’t always have to win.
I have spent my whole life competing with everyone around me. Whether it was the spelling bee, the ACT, prom queen, a starting position on the basketball team, it didn’t matter, I needed to win. So, I did. I made the best grades, dated the cutest boys, played all the sports, got into the best schools, won all the scholarships. I felt like I was doing everything right. Everyone was so proud, and it felt so good.
Then I got here, looked around, and for the first time, my confidence wavered. I wasn’t the best anymore, not even fucking close. I wasn’t the smartest one in my classes or the prettiest one in my sorority or even the funniest one in my friend group. All of the awards and the small-town fame didn’t matter anymore. All of the sudden my competition was way better than me, and I spent the next year playing a losing game. A game that my opponents were blissfully unaware that they were participating in. At the end of my freshman year, I was absolutely heart-broken and fifteen pounds heavier, with subpar grades, an abhorrent attitude, and little to no friends left.
Now, this is not meant to be a sob story of someone who peaked in high school; I simply say all of that to say this: winning isn’t everything. All the trophies in the world will only make you feel good for a little while. The pats on the back and good jobs will eventually fade and you’ll be left thinking “Damn, that was it?” Constantly competing is exhausting. You’ll ruin your friendships, relationships, and self-esteem. You’ll grow to hate others for their success. You’ll look in the mirror and never be enough for yourself. It took me twenty years to realize that my relationship with myself and the people I love, is wildly more important than any win could ever be.
So, if you’re reading this, please remember that someone else’s success does not make yours obsolete. Remember that just because she is beautiful, doesn’t mean that you are not. And remember that you aren’t going to win every time.
Maggie D., Georgia Tech ‘22
