If you’re reading this, you don’t have to struggle alone.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been the “silly” friend. I am naturally extroverted and love to make people laugh. And while my outgoing positivity brings me joy, it also means I have a lot of trouble admitting when I am not okay.
It comes from a place of not wanting to bum others out, especially the people I love and care for. Who wants to bring down the mood, right? But, I have learned that trying to hold it all inside, will inevitably lead to it all bursting out, at once, in a not-so-glamorous way.
During this October break, I came home to my mom immediately after a nursing midterm. The second I stepped into my house, she saw right through my facade and sensed that something was wrong. My eyes were tired, my skin was puffy. Despite my smile, she knew I was not doing well. Not physically, not mentally.
She gave me one hug and that was all it took for me to start crying—and I couldn’t stop. I didn’t get out of bed for the entire day, except to walk the dog. She asked what was wrong and I didn’t really know where to begin. There wasn’t anything tangible that was wrong. I am blessed to have an amazing support system at school and at home. But, mentally, my well-being was shot.
So, why then? That’s what I wanted to know.
It took me some reflection time and some unwarranted advice from my dad to realize that I was burnt out. Severely burnt out. I stopped caring for myself. And, on top of that, I didn’t give myself any grace or let anyone in. Instead, I pushed and beat myself down to my breaking point.
This year, I learned that I physically can not go through life stressors alone. Something will always come up. Maybe it’s a relatively small obstacle or maybe it’s a completely catastrophic and unexpected event. Regardless, I don’t have to fight through it alone. Pretending like I am “totally, completely fine” is not only damaging me, but it’s not fooling anybody else.
If you’re reading this, It’s okay to ask others for help when you need someone to lean on. It doesn’t make you a burden. It lets the people around you know that you love them and that you value their opinion. Give yourself grace, let the people you love help you, and don’t let life’s obstacles knock you out.
Megan C., Villanova University ‘24
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