If you’re reading this, you are not a burden.
Sometimes, it is easy to fall under the impression that your problems don’t matter or that your friends don’t have the time to deal with you. Or that you are just overreacting. Or that you are not overreacting, but no one would care if you told them. Just an overall feeling that opening up to other people would be an additional burden to them and would not do any good.
I felt like that. I felt like that until I reached an absolute breaking point.
Throughout high school and some of my first two years of college, I never let people truly know what was going on in my life. What my thoughts were, what was bothering me, why I was stressed. I always felt the need to put on this perfect image and act like nothing was ever wrong in my life. A big part of this was because I didn’t want to bother people with my own problems. I assumed that since they already had so much going on in their lives, my problems didn’t matter.
But I did have problems. I never told people how I was plagued with body issues and constantly tried to limit my food or purge after I ate it. I never told people how rough the college admission process was for me. Or how I sometimes thought that everyone’s lives would be easier if I just didn’t exist. I never told people how unhealthy my obsession with getting into med school was. I never told people when my anxiety ruled my life.
That all changed sometime in my second year of college. I had amazing roommates who made me feel heard and like my problems were valid. One of them encouraged me to seek the help I so desperately needed and was always a listening ear when I needed it. I told them things that I had never dreamed that other people would know about, and that helped more than I could have possibly imagined. To this day, I know that I can reach out to her at any time (even though we aren’t roommates anymore) and she would be there for me.
My message to everyone is that you are never a burden. Your true friends will always be there for you and will always want to share your load. They will be the ones to pick you up when you need it most and the ones to point out when they see a problem before you can even see it yourself.
Your problems are so valid and you should never be ashamed to tell your friends about them. If they are truly your friends, they will embrace whenever you need it and even when you think you don’t. Maybe you will even encourage them to be open with you too.
If you’re reading this, you deserve to be heard. To feel like someone truly knows you. To feel like the burden on your back is shared by the people who care most about you. It is ok to not be ok. Let the people who love you know how you truly are.
Rachel R., University of Virginia ‘21